The Magic Ratio of Effective Marketing

In the 1970s, psychologist John Gottman and his colleague Robert Levenson began a series of experiments that would come to reshape how we understand relationships. 

They invited couples into their lab, asked them to discuss a point of conflict for 15 minutes, and quietly observed. 

Every raised eyebrow, every sigh, every glance of affection or irritation was recorded and later studied in painstaking detail.

Nine years later, they followed up with those same couples. By comparing the interactions in those 15-minute conversations with the outcomes nearly a decade later, Gottman and Levenson were able to predict with better than 90 percent accuracy which marriages would last and which would end in divorce.

The finding wasn’t that some couples were destined to succeed and others doomed to fail. 

What really mattered was the balance of positive to negative interactions. Thriving couples shared at least five moments of connection, humor, or kindness for every single moment of criticism, irritation, or hostility.

This balance of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction became known as the “magic ratio.” 

And it’s the same principle that explains why some marketing builds lasting trust, while other marketing repels.

Marketing as a Relationship of Give and Take

Marketing is a social relationship. The same instincts that make us lean into a conversation, or shrink away from one, are at play when clients encounter your emails, blogs, and campaigns.

Think of the people in your life who always have something to share—an insight, a useful tip, a story that makes you think differently. They draw you in because the relationship feels balanced. 

Now think of the person who only calls when they need something. That relationship drains you. Eventually, you stop answering.

The same thing happens in marketing. A firm that only sends sales pitches feels like the friend who only shows up when they need a favor. 

But a firm that consistently gives—education, clarity, reminders, encouragement—feels like the friend you actually want to hear from.

The 75:25 Rule 

This is where Gottman’s magic ratio becomes a useful guide. In my own marketing practice, I use a 75:25 rule of thumb. 

About 75 percent of what you send should be pure give: education, insight, or perspective that helps your audience whether they do business with you or not. 

The remaining 25 percent can be an ask—but even those asks should feel like gifts in themselves.

A good call-to-action doesn’t just demand. It offers. For example:

• “Download our year-end tax checklist.”

• “Register for our retirement planning webinar.”

• “Get your cash flow optimization guide.”

Each one invites the reader to take a step forward, but the exchange feels fair. They’re not giving you something for nothing. They’re getting something useful in return.

The Payroll Owner Who Thought Email Was Bugging People

I recently met with the owner of a payroll company who also provides other small business services. 

When I suggested she send a weekly email newsletter, she looked surprised. 

“Wouldn’t that be bugging people?” she asked.

Her reaction is common. Many business owners assume that frequent communication is inherently annoying. 

But the truth is, frequency isn’t the problem—bad content is.

If every email is a sales pitch, then yes, your audience will feel pestered. 

But if every email is a valuable piece of education—say, a weekly payroll tip that saves a business owner time or helps them avoid a costly mistake—then your emails are no longer a nuisance. They’re a service.

Financial advisors face the same dynamic. If every message is “Book a Call,” prospects will quickly tune you out. 

But if your communication consistently helps them think differently about retirement, taxes, or wealth transfer, you’re making deposits into their trust account. 

When you eventually ask them to take the next step, it won’t feel like an interruption. It will feel like the natural continuation of a relationship you’ve been building all along.

Deposits and Withdrawals in Every Relationship

The late leadership guru Stephen Covey described this same dynamic through another memorable metaphor: the emotional bank account. 

Every relationship, he argued, runs on trust as its currency. 

Positive actions, such as listening, keeping commitments, and showing respect, are deposits. Negative actions, including breaking promises, neglect, and criticism, are withdrawals.

When the account is full of deposits, relationships can withstand the occasional withdrawal. 

Trust cushions the mistake. But when the account is already empty, even a small withdrawal can tip the relationship into failure.

For advisors, this is a vivid way to think about marketing. Every blog, newsletter, or video you publish is a deposit. Every promotional email or hard ask is a withdrawal. 

If you want clients to feel safe saying yes, the balance has to be in your favor.

Compounding Trust Over Time

Trust in marketing works the way compounding does in finance. Every piece of valuable content you share is a deposit. Every ask is a withdrawal. 

A steady stream of deposits builds equity over time. Constant withdrawals, with no deposits to balance them, put the account into overdraft.

This is what too many advisors miss. They treat marketing as a one-off campaign, a quick grab for attention, a short-term transaction. 

But trust doesn’t work that way. It compounds. 

A weekly newsletter, a regular blog, a thoughtful social post—all of these create momentum. Each one builds on the last. 

And over time, they establish you as the advisor people want to hear from, long before they’re even ready to make a buying decision.

The Inbound Way

John Gottman proved that marriages succeed not because of their style, but because of their balance. The positives must outweigh the negatives. The same is true in marketing.

When you follow the 75:25 rule, your communication no longer feels like pestering. It feels like partnership. 

You become the advisor who gives more than you take, who shows up with value, who earns trust long before the first meeting. 

And when the client is finally ready to act, the decision is easy. They choose the person who has been investing in them all along.

That’s the magic ratio of marketing.

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